Today funny jokes 22.02

It seems that a man entered a restaruant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon and set it on the table. The diner was impressed. “Do all the …

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Today funny jokes 20.02

A sales representative, was driving home when he saw a group of young children selling Kool-Aid on a corner in his neighborhood. They had posted the typical hand-scrawled sign over their stand: “Kool-Aid, 10 cents.” The rep was intrigued. He pulled over to the curb. A young man approached and asked if he would like …

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99 FUNNY JOKES GUARANTEED TO OFFEND ABOUT ANYONE

1. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree ? … Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow-job. 2. What do you call a female clown ? … A Clunt 3. What is the difference between a nigger and a tyre ? … Tyres don’t sing when you put chains on …

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Animal Jokes 3

Q. Where do they get virgin wool? A. Ugly sheep. Q. What’s worse than finding a worm in the apple you’re eating? A. Finding half a worm. Q. What do you get when you put an experimental monkey in a blender? A. Rhesus Pieces. Q. Why do dogs lick their balls? A. Because they can. …

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Funny Jokes 2

Q: Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair? A: Because when the dragged them by the feet, they filled up with dirt. Q: What do 40 battered women have in common ? A: They don’t listen. Q. How come no one ever came up with any jokes about the Jonestown incident? A. The …

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ONE DEFAULT THING TO DO IN ANY SITUATION

One of the concepts that I really think is valuable to get a handle on is called “Always have one default thing to do in every common situation.” It’s amazing to me when I watch a guy interacting with a woman, and everything is going well… and then it’s time for him to either step …

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Today funny jokes 02.01

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely fool proof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. Douglas Adams There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something …

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Erica’s Blonde Jokes

Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra? A: SPOT Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air? A: Yeah she missed Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? A: Pregnant Q: What do you call seven blonde floating in water? A: An air …

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TOP TEN WAYS TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE PMS…

10. Everyone around you has an attitude problem. 9. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet 8. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans. 7. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. 6. You’re using your cell phone to dial up bumper stickers that says, “How’s my driving? Call …

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Italian Spelling

Bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting in front of them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following: “Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I …

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