Category Archive: Bar Jokes
Bar jokes about drunks, drinking, beer, alcoholic beverages, and much more funny jokes!
1. It’s an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you have the hangover after work instead of before. 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/25-reasons-why-alcohol-should-be-served-at-work
A MAN WALKS INTO A BAR with his little Jack Russell terrier. He puts the dog on the barstool next to his. The bartender wanders over and the man says, ‘I’ll have a pot thanks, mate.’ The dog says, ‘I’ll have a margarita.’ The bartender does a double-take and looks over to the dog and …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/a-man-walks-into-a-bar-2
Two guys are in the pub discussing their latest s##ual conquests. The first guy says he pulled a girl last week and they agreed to go back to his house and have s#x. Once in the house the girl strips off, lies down the bed legs apart and pants, “I want you to give me …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/pub
A guy goes to a tattoo parlour and asks the owner if he would tattoo the words ‘yes’ and ‘no’ onto his penis. The owner agrees. When the job is complete pays and leaves. That night, the man strips off his pants and shorts, and proudly shows the new tattoo to his wife. “What do …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/just-words
A guy walks into a bar holding three ducks. He puts them on the bar and orders a drink. After talking with the bartender for a while, the man excuses himself to use the restroom. There’s an awkward silence so the bartender tries to make small talk with the ducks. He asks the first duck, …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/puddles
Mick was in court for a double murder and the judge said, “You are charged with beating your wife to death with a spanner.” A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, “You b*stard!” The judge continued, “You are also charged with beating your Mother-in-Law to death with a spanner.” Again, the voice …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/a-man-walks-into-a-bar
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each on in turn. When he finished them, he comes back into to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, “You know, a pint goes flat …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/an-irishman-walks-into-a-bar-in-dublin
1. Ask for last months specials. 2. Place your order in three different languages if you don’t know any, make them up. 3. When they repeat your order totally change it. Repeat as desired. 4. Order a whopper from McDonalds, when they say they don’t have whoppers insist that they do. If they still argue …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/havent-you-ever-had-the-urge-to-loose-control-when-ordering-that-burrito-or-burger-and-drink-combo
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/i-have-a-magical-dancing-duck
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, “I’ve got to take you in, pal. You’re obviously drunk.” Our wasted friend asked, “Officer, are ya absolutely sure I’m drunk?” “Yeah, buddy, I’m sure,” said the copper. …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/glad-to-be-drunk
