A Frenchman, a German and an Englishman are in the pub. The Frenchman says, “Last night I poured Cognac all over my wife, licked it off and made love to her for 3 hours. She rose a foot off of the bed”. The German replies, “That’s nothing. Last night I smothered my wife with Sauerkraut, …
Category Archive: Miscellaneous Jokes
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Class of funny jokes
Q: What do you call a person who hacks while wearing no clothes? A: A gnudist. Q: What do you call an eligible young hacker? A: Gnubile. Q: What is a hacker’s favorite candy? A: Gnugat. (Though it contains little gnutrition.) Q: What do you call a computer filled with air? A: Gnumatic. Q: What …
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A couple astrologer
A couple astrologer friends and my parents and my sister and I were sitting around one night, under the influence of really good coffee and even better chocolate cheesecake, and we made up the following: How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it takes a hell of a …
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WHY I FIRED MY SECRETARY
I woke up early feeling a little depressed because it was my birthday and thought, Another year older, but decided to make the best of it. So I showered and shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast, my wife would greet me with a big kiss and say “Happy Birthday, dear”. All smiles, I …
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Today funny jokes 06.11
Why does a man have a clear conscience? Because it’s never used. Why are men so happy? Because ignorance is bliss. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women? Because when it’s time to go back to childhood, he’s already there. How do men exercise at the beach? By sucking …
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Classic Jokes IV
A man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the posh theatre. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, “Sorry, sir, but you’re only allowed one seat.” The man groaned but didn’t budge. The usher became impatient. “Sir, if you don’t get up from there I’m going to have …
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You Know You’re Ghetto When…..
1. THERE’S REUSABLE BACON GREASE IN A MAXWELL HOUSE CAN IN THE CENTER OF THE BURNERS ON YOUR STOVE. 2. TURNING UP THE HEAT MEANS TURNING ON ANOTHER BURNER ON THE STOVE. 3. THE BATTERIES IN YOUR REMOTE CONTROL ARE HELD IN PLACE WITH A PIECE OF TAPE. 4. YOU HAVE PROJECT HEAT. (NOTE: THIS …
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Miscellaneous Jokes(2)
“Why do Canadians like to do it doggie style?” “So they can both watch the hockey game.” : “I’m developing a scientific process wherein I clone myself as a female. That way — when people tell me to go fuck myself, I can do it!” : “I object to all this s$x on television. I …
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Miscellaneous Jokes(1)
Question: What did the policeman say to the condom? Answer: Cover me — I’m goin’ in! : Doctor to s$$y female patient: What’s the problem? She removes her shirt. Doctor sees backward letter “P” on her chest. Doc: What happened? She: My boyfriend and I made love last night. He wore a letter sweater. He …
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