Category Archive: Quotes

Share our extensive collection of famous quotes by authors, celebrities, newsmakers, and more. Enjoy our Quotes of the Day on the web.

Funny quotes

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How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you’re on. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. You can’t fuck the future, the future fucks you! If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex? There are two kinds of pedestrians… the quick and the …

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Funny Quotes

“I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it’s such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.” –Ellen DeGeneres “I’ve been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That’s where I wake up, take a hit …

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Police Quotes

“If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.” “The handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.” “So, you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?” “The answer to this last question will determine …

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Audrey Hepburn Quotes

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others. Audrey Hepburn Everything I learned I learned from the movies. Audrey Hepburn For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with …

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Ayn Rand Quotes

A building has integrity just like a man. And just as seldom. Ayn Rand A creative man is motivated by the desire to achieve, not by the desire to beat others. Ayn Rand A desire presupposes the possibility of action to achieve it; action presupposes a goal which is worth achieving. Ayn Rand Achievement of …

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Abraham Lincoln

A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have. Abraham Lincoln A house divided against itself cannot stand. Abraham Lincoln A woman is the only thing I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me. Abraham Lincoln All my life I have tried to pluck a thistle and plant a …

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