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A man walks into a drug store with his 13-year old son. They walk by the condom display and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?” The man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe s#x.” “Oh,” replied the boy. “Yes I’ve heard of that in health class at …
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A married couple are in a terrible accident and the woman’s face is severely burned. The doctor tells the husband that they can’t graft any skin from her body, as she is too skinny. The husband heroically offers to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that is suitable …
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A nervous young bride becomes irritated by her husband’s lusty advances on their wedding night and reprimands him severely. “I demand proper manners in bed,” she shouts, “just as I do at the dinner table.” Amused by his wife’s formality, the groom smoothes his rumpled hair and climbs quietly between the sheets. “Is that better?” …
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A young woman was preparing for her wedding. She asked her mother to go out and buy a nice long black negligee and carefully place it in her suitcase so it would not wrinkle. Well, Mom forgot until the last minute. She dashed out and could only find a short pink nightie. She bought it …
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Funny how love is everywhere just look and see Funny how love is anywhere you’re bound to be Funny how love is every song in every key Funny how love is coming home in time for tea Funny, funny, funny Funny how love is the end of lies when the truth begins Tomorrow comes tomorrow …
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A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been …
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I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always. It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only seems longer. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible. A man was complaining to a friend: ‘I had it all – money, a …
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COMPLIMENT HER, RESPECT HER, HONOUR HER, CUDDLE HER, KISS HER, CARESS HER, LOVE HER, STROKE HER, TEASE HER, COMFORT HER, PROTECT HER, HUG HER, HOLD HER, SPEND MONEY ON HER, WINE AND DINE HER, BUY THINGS FOR HER, LISTEN TO HER, CARE FOR HER, STAND BY HER, SUPPORT HER, HOLD HER, GO TO THE ENDS …
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ROMANCE MATHEMATICS Smart man + smart woman = romance Smart man + dumb woman = affair Dumb man + smart woman = marriage Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy SHOPPING MATH A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t …
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A retired gentleman went to the social security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver’s license to verify his age. He looked in his pockets and realized he had left his wallet at home. He told the woman that he was very sorry but he seemed …
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