Today jokes. Here readers daily jokes sent to site funny jokes. The newest and funniest jokes.
An elderly woman walks into her doctor’s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.” Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you’re 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control …
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Steve: Hello. Steve and Matt aren’t here right now but if… Matt: Steve, what are you doing? Steve: I’m leaving a phone message since we aren’t here. Matt: But you left the last one — it’s my turn. Steve: No, I’m sure it’s my turn. Matt: No, you’re incorrect. It’s definitely my turn. Steve: You …
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There were three guys at a bar. One was a college student, one was a buisness man and the other was a biker. The student tells the two other men that it was his aniversary and he got his wife a pearl necklace and a trip to the Bahamas “Shit if she doesnt like the …
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Rene Descartes walks into a resturant and sits down for dinner. The waiter comes over and asks if he’d like an appetizer “No thank you” says Descartes, “I’d just like to order dinner” “Would you like to hear our daily specials?” asks the waiter “No” says Descartes, getting impatient “Would you like a drink before …
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Q: How does a rabbit keep his fur looking good? A: With hare spray! Q: How does the Easter Bunny say Happy Easter? A: Hoppy Easter! Q: What do you get when you find a Easter rabbit with no hair? A: A hairless hare! Q: How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself? A: With …
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Q: Did you hear the one about the Easter Bunny who sat on a bee? A: It’s a tender tail! Q: How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself? A: With a hare dryer! Q: How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs? A: He hires Santa’s elves during the off-season. Q: How …
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One day a blonde walked in a gun shop and bought a gun just in case case her husband attempts to cheat on her. A month goes past and when she arrives from work she finds her husband with another women having s##ual intercourse. The blonde puts the the gun to her own head ”Dont …
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Did you hear that Dahmer was convicted of something else? Selling ARMS to Iraq! A neighbor of Jeffrey Dahmer’s came to him to ask for some lettuce. “I’ve got a couple of heads in the freezer,” he replied Jeffrey Dahmer had to move out of his apartment recently… He didn’t have enough ELBOW room… But …
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Two men were living on a houseboat. One night, while the men were sleeping, the boat broke loose from its mooring and drifted into the open sea. One of the men got up in the morning before his mate and, going out on deck, noticed there was no land in sight anywhere. Excitedly, he called …
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