Tag Archive: Bar Jokes
Banta and Ram Lai were working on a roof, when Banta slipped and fell to the ground. Ram Lai leaned over and called out: ‘You dead or alive, Banta?’ ‘Alive,’ moaned Banta. ‘You’re a liar. I don’t know whether to believe you or not,’ said Ram Lai. ‘Then I must be dead,’ said Banta, ‘because …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/alive-or-dead
“I’M GOING FISHING.” “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a lake with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “IT’S A GUY THING.” “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.” “UH HUH,” …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/dictionary-of-mens-sayings-and-what-they-mean
It seems that a man entered a restaruant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon and set it on the table. The diner was impressed. “Do all the …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/today-funny-jokes-22-02
ARKANSAS CITY (EPA) — A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car’s sun roof during an incident best described as “a mistaken rapture” by dozens of eye witnesses. Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty car pile up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman who was …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/today-funny-jokes-10-11
There was a man who had worked all of his life and had saved all of his money and was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything. Just before he died, he said to his wife, “Now listen. When I die, I want you to …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/a-man-and-his-money
1)Q:What is the first thing a blond does when they wake up? A:They go home. 2)Q:What is the difference between a telephone and a blond? A:It’s thirty-five cents to use the phone. 3)Q:What does a good basketball team have in common with a bad basketball team, a group of men and a blond? A:Everyone scores. …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/dumb-blond-jokes-2
Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground? A: Because you can’t bury them in trees! Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail? A: He was trying to make both ends meet! Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A: A collie-flower! Q: Why do …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/dog-jokes-01
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. He walks up to the bar and takes a seat, the giraffe does the same. The man orders a beer for himself and a double scotch for the giraffe. They both proceed to drink and after a while they order the same again. They continue all …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/drunk-giraffe
* Fabio Capello told Wayne Rooney to have a long look at himself in the mirror. Like that’s going to improve his confidence. * I can’t believe we only managed a draw against a poor team we should easily have beaten. I’m ashamed to call myself Algerian. * Police have released the name of the …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/england-football-jokes
Here are some ideas to drive men/women crazy Now, this is only a joke, so don’t try this at home!! MEN: 1. Take the batteries out of all the remotes in the house. (Hide them well.) 2. Organize his workshop, bedroom, or other special place. 3. Bribe his faithful dog away from him with a …
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Permanent link to this article: http://www.thefunnyjokes.co.uk/crazy-making-behavior
