I woke up early feeling a little depressed because it was my birthday and thought, Another year older, but decided to make the best of it. So I showered and shaved, knowing when I went down to breakfast, my wife would greet me with a big kiss and say “Happy Birthday, dear”. All smiles, I …
Tag Archive: Clean jokes
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Shut up your next
One day a blonde walked in a gun shop and bought a gun just in case case her husband attempts to cheat on her. A month goes past and when she arrives from work she finds her husband with another women having s##ual intercourse. The blonde puts the the gun to her own head ”Dont …
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99 FUNNY JOKES GUARANTEED TO OFFEND ABOUT ANYONE
1. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree ? … Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow-job. 2. What do you call a female clown ? … A Clunt 3. What is the difference between a nigger and a tyre ? … Tyres don’t sing when you put chains on …
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Animal Jokes 3
Q. Where do they get virgin wool? A. Ugly sheep. Q. What’s worse than finding a worm in the apple you’re eating? A. Finding half a worm. Q. What do you get when you put an experimental monkey in a blender? A. Rhesus Pieces. Q. Why do dogs lick their balls? A. Because they can. …
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Funny Jokes 2
Q: Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair? A: Because when the dragged them by the feet, they filled up with dirt. Q: What do 40 battered women have in common ? A: They don’t listen. Q. How come no one ever came up with any jokes about the Jonestown incident? A. The …
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Kiss, Kiss …
A married couple are in a terrible accident and the woman’s face is severely burned. The doctor tells the husband that they can’t graft any skin from her body, as she is too skinny. The husband heroically offers to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that is suitable …
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Typewriter
A husband and wife decided they needed to use “a code” to indicate that they wanted to have s#x without letting their children in on it. They decided on the word “typewriter.” One day the husband tells his fiveyear- old daughter, “Go tell your mommy that daddy needs to type a letter.” The child tells …
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Save money!
A man worked hard all of his life and had saved his money. In fact, he loved money so much that just before he died, he asked his wife to “Put the money in the casket with me, because I want to take it with me to the afterlife.” His wife made a solemn promise …
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Today funny jokes 06.11
Why does a man have a clear conscience? Because it’s never used. Why are men so happy? Because ignorance is bliss. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women? Because when it’s time to go back to childhood, he’s already there. How do men exercise at the beach? By sucking …
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Today funny jokes 30.10
Did you hear about the queer burglar? First he blew the safe, then he went down on the elevator. : Question: What did one lesbian ask the other lesbian? Answer: Your face or mine? : Question: What’s the difference between a whale and a lesbian? Answer: About 15 pounds and a flannel shirt! : Question: …
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