What is small, red and whispers? A hoarse radish! How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch! What vegetable might you find in your basement? Cellar-y! What is green and goes to a summer camp? A Brussels’ scout. Why did the Tomato go out with a prune! Because he couldn’t find a …
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One day a blonde walked in a gun shop and bought a gun just in case case her husband attempts to cheat on her. A month goes past and when she arrives from work she finds her husband with another women having s##ual intercourse. The blonde puts the the gun to her own head ”Dont …
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A married couple are in a terrible accident and the woman’s face is severely burned. The doctor tells the husband that they can’t graft any skin from her body, as she is too skinny. The husband heroically offers to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that is suitable …
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Q: How many valley girls does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to open the diet Pepsi, the 2nd to call daddy. Q. How many Pygmies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Two. But they have to be very, VERY, small! Q. How many people from California …
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I hate it when you leave, but I would like to see you go. When do you know a woman is going to say something interesting ? …. When she starts with “My husband said…” One chicken to an other: are you tokkin’ to me? Man says to his wife : Let me take a …
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After the college boy delivered the pizza to Bud’s trailer house, Bud asked, “What is the usual tip?” “Well,” replied the youth, “this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great.” “Is that so?” snorted Bud. “Well, just to show them …
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I love my master; Thus I perfume myself with This long-rotten squirrel. I lie belly-up In the sunshine, happier than You ever will be. Today I sniffed Many dog behinds-I celebrate By kissing your face. I sound the alarm! Paper boy-come to kill us all- Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! I sound the alarm! Garbage …
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A professor at W.Virginia University is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: “How many people here believe in ghosts?” About 90 students raise their hands. “Well that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you’ve ever …
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Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, “You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy.” Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, “Well, I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and …
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