What is small, red and whispers? A hoarse radish! How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch! What vegetable might you find in your basement? Cellar-y! What is green and goes to a summer camp? A Brussels’ scout. Why did the Tomato go out with a prune! Because he couldn’t find a …
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A preacher retired and moved to the country to enjoy life and practice his hobby of yard work. Needing a lawn mower, he headed into town to buy one. On the way he saw a sign advertising a lawn mower for sale. He stopped at the house and a young lad came out to greet …
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Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together. The first one tells her friends, “My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.” The second Catholic woman chirps, “My son is a Bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, ‘Your Grace’.” The third Catholic woman says smugly, “My …
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What’s the difference between chopped beef and pea soup? Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup! A magician was driving down the road..then he turned into a drive way… Why don’t aliens eat clowns. Because they taste funny. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh Two snowmen are …
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Q: How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Two. One to replace it and one to tell him it was burned out (in states that still have car-inspection laws.) A: Three. One to stand on the ladder, and two to carry enough light bulbs until one is found that isn’t …
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I love my master; Thus I perfume myself with This long-rotten squirrel. I lie belly-up In the sunshine, happier than You ever will be. Today I sniffed Many dog behinds-I celebrate By kissing your face. I sound the alarm! Paper boy-come to kill us all- Look! Look! Look! Look! Look! I sound the alarm! Garbage …
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A professor at W.Virginia University is giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks: “How many people here believe in ghosts?” About 90 students raise their hands. “Well that’s a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you’ve ever …
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