Banta and Ram Lai were working on a roof, when Banta slipped and fell to the ground. Ram Lai leaned over and called out: ‘You dead or alive, Banta?’ ‘Alive,’ moaned Banta. ‘You’re a liar. I don’t know whether to believe you or not,’ said Ram Lai. ‘Then I must be dead,’ said Banta, ‘because …
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A Frenchman, a German and an Englishman are in the pub. The Frenchman says, “Last night I poured Cognac all over my wife, licked it off and made love to her for 3 hours. She rose a foot off of the bed”. The German replies, “That’s nothing. Last night I smothered my wife with Sauerkraut, …
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Steve: Hello. Steve and Matt aren’t here right now but if… Matt: Steve, what are you doing? Steve: I’m leaving a phone message since we aren’t here. Matt: But you left the last one — it’s my turn. Steve: No, I’m sure it’s my turn. Matt: No, you’re incorrect. It’s definitely my turn. Steve: You …
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A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he’s doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas.With his dummy on his knee, he’s going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: “I’ve heard enough …
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Unless you are an etymologist, reading the Bible is useless and a waste of time. Who knows what words meant 2000 years ago? Words evolve just as human kind does. (Ancient Hebrew had no vowels; they were added later, Greek too evolved over the years. Why is it that the bible is devoid of humor? …
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Enduring Labor The nurse approached him, smiling. “The labor is going great,” she said. “Wouldn’t you like to come in?” “Oh, no.” The man shook his head. The nurse returned to the mother’s side, and the labor progressed smoothly. As the birth neared, the nurse returned to the man, now pacing frantically in the hall. …
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Rene Descartes walks into a resturant and sits down for dinner. The waiter comes over and asks if he’d like an appetizer “No thank you” says Descartes, “I’d just like to order dinner” “Would you like to hear our daily specials?” asks the waiter “No” says Descartes, getting impatient “Would you like a drink before …
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A man worked hard all of his life and had saved his money. In fact, he loved money so much that just before he died, he asked his wife to “Put the money in the casket with me, because I want to take it with me to the afterlife.” His wife made a solemn promise …
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