A couple astrologer friends and my parents and my sister and I were sitting around one night, under the influence of really good coffee and even better chocolate cheesecake, and we made up the following: How many Aries does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but it takes a hell of a …
Tag Archive: Gross Jokes
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Today funny jokes 20.02
A sales representative, was driving home when he saw a group of young children selling Kool-Aid on a corner in his neighborhood. They had posted the typical hand-scrawled sign over their stand: “Kool-Aid, 10 cents.” The rep was intrigued. He pulled over to the curb. A young man approached and asked if he would like …
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Animal Jokes 3
Q. Where do they get virgin wool? A. Ugly sheep. Q. What’s worse than finding a worm in the apple you’re eating? A. Finding half a worm. Q. What do you get when you put an experimental monkey in a blender? A. Rhesus Pieces. Q. Why do dogs lick their balls? A. Because they can. …
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Save money!
A man worked hard all of his life and had saved his money. In fact, he loved money so much that just before he died, he asked his wife to “Put the money in the casket with me, because I want to take it with me to the afterlife.” His wife made a solemn promise …
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Today funny jokes 06.11
Why does a man have a clear conscience? Because it’s never used. Why are men so happy? Because ignorance is bliss. Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for a man then for a women? Because when it’s time to go back to childhood, he’s already there. How do men exercise at the beach? By sucking …
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50 Fun Things To Do On a Final That Does
1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes.Wake up, say “oh geez, better get cracking” and do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early. 2. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming “Andre, Andre, I’ve got the secret documents!!” 3. If it is a …
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Dumb Blond Jokes!!
1)Q:What is the first thing a blond does when they wake up? A:They go home. 2)Q:What is the difference between a telephone and a blond? A:It’s thirty-five cents to use the phone. 3)Q:What does a good basketball team have in common with a bad basketball team, a group of men and a blond? A:Everyone scores. …
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Funny puns
1. How do you make antifreeze? Steal her blanket. 2. In democracy its your vote that counts. In feudalism its your count that votes. 3. If you wear a blindfold at the shooting range, you won’t know what you’re missing. Bob – Corvallis, OR 4. Those who get too big for their britches will be …
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The Aliens
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station. They approached one of the gas pumps, and one of the aliens addressed it. “Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader.” The gas pumps of course, didn’t respond. The alien repeated the greeting. Again there was no response. The …
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