One day a blonde walked in a gun shop and bought a gun just in case case her husband attempts to cheat on her. A month goes past and when she arrives from work she finds her husband with another women having s##ual intercourse. The blonde puts the the gun to her own head ”Dont …
Tag Archive: UK jokes
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Funny Jokes 2
Q: Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair? A: Because when the dragged them by the feet, they filled up with dirt. Q: What do 40 battered women have in common ? A: They don’t listen. Q. How come no one ever came up with any jokes about the Jonestown incident? A. The …
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Kiss, Kiss …
A married couple are in a terrible accident and the woman’s face is severely burned. The doctor tells the husband that they can’t graft any skin from her body, as she is too skinny. The husband heroically offers to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that is suitable …
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Kiss me where it smells funny
And now ladies and gentlemen, here’s the event you’ve all been waiting for. You came twice last year like a Sears catalog ‘Cause your last boyfriend makes love like Boss Hogg Well now you’re seeing me but soon I’ll have you seein’ God ‘Cause girl I’ll get you pantin’ like you’re Pavlov’s dog Like a …
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Never Fall Asleep In Church
One day Mr Jones went to have a talk with the minister at his church. “Reverend,” he said, “I have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing. What should I do?” “I have an idea,” said the minister. “Take this pin with you. I’ll be able to tell when …
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Yo mama’s so UGLY
your daddy takes her to work so he doesn’t need to kiss her goodbye she makes blind kids cry when she threw a boomerang, it wouldn’t come back the psychiatrist makes her lie face-down when she passes by your bathroom, the toilet flushes when she gets up, the sun goes down when she was born, …
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I hate it when you leave
I hate it when you leave, but I would like to see you go. When do you know a woman is going to say something interesting ? …. When she starts with “My husband said…” One chicken to an other: are you tokkin’ to me? Man says to his wife : Let me take a …
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Blonde Jokes II
A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer peered through the driver’s window, he was astounded to find that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting. The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, “Pull over!” at the top of his lungs. “No!” the blonde …
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Rules Of Washington
If it’s worth fighting for, it’s worth fighting dirty for. Don’t lie, cheat or steal…unnecessarily. There is always one more son of a bitch than you counted on. An honest answer can get you into a lot of trouble. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant. Chicken little only has to be right once. “NO” is …
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HOME TRUTHS ON AIR FORCE ONE
Al Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, “You know, I could throw a $10,000 bill out the window right now and make one person very happy.” Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, “Well, I could throw ten $1,000 bills out the window and …
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